Moving Cities, Finding Myself

San Miguel's Role in my Revival

At the time of writing this, it's been a month since we moved cities from Ajijic in Jalisco in Mexico to another city called San Miguel de Allende in the state of Guanajuato, Mexico.

The last month has been so much for me! It's been a rollercoaster of emotion. I've experienced grief, elation, doubt, bliss, certainty, connection, deep conversations, amazing food. You name it, I've experienced it.

I feel ecstatic that we made the move to San Miguel.

Let's face it, it was a lot to make the move. We were very embedded in our community and the town we were in. We had the most beautiful support and assistance via our nanny. That's why it took us so long to leave, despite knowing for years that village wasn't for us.

I shared in a previous episode, Retirement Vibes to Family Thrives, the reasons why we were making the move and what we anticipated would improve in our life as a result of making the move.

This is my update to share with you what has happened over the last month so you can see what’s unfolded for us.

One of the things we were searching for was to be connected with friends. To meet other people of similar values and in a similar stage of life, i. e. raising young children, and to connect with them in a deeper way. We had some incredible friends in our town. And at the same time, they weren't in the same phase of life as us.

In and of itself, that's not a prerequisite for being friends with someone, but it was a gap that we had in our life and something that we really felt we needed more of.

On the friends front, as I shared previously in my episode, When Making Adult Friendships Feels Like Dating, I have met so many beautiful people since we arrived.

There's been a marked difference in the way that that’s happened, for instance, meeting people at the farmer's market, supermarket, school, playground or Parroquia has really flowed for us.

And it's been so wonderful to have conversations with other parents, where we can laugh about how challenging it can be to raise young children—the lack of sleep, strong will, and all of the things that come with parenting a toddler.

It's vitally important to be able to share that with people, instead of pretending everything's rosy all the time and sweeping our challenges under the carpet.

I mentioned our nanny earlier. She was such an integral part of our life and there is a big hole still there that we haven't fulfilled—and I don't think we will ever fill. (I'm still secretly hoping she'll come live with us here!)

I'm sure at some point we will meet someone able to help support us to parent our child and give us a little break at times because I feel like that is such an important thing for parents, otherwise we lose ourselves and our connection with our significant other.

But I've definitely experienced some version of grief since we arrived. Not that I'm not experiencing joy and elation because I've shared that I am experiencing those things, but at the same time, there's a paradox. We have to grieve the life that we left as well as revel in the joy of the new life we've created.

The day we left was intensely emotional.

I stalled so many times, hugging our nanny, and I didn't want to get in the taxi to leave her because it was so big for me. I felt so much guilt for taking my daughter away from her because they are best friends.

It's truly the most beautiful thing to have another woman you can rely on to be a second mum to help you parent your children. I've had that support since she was 11 months old. To not have that now is a big change. I spent the entire ride to the bus station in tears.

I'm currently learning how to be the “only” mum. I dearly miss my “backup” mum. Her loss means my life is currently very full in a beautiful way.

I'm spending so much quality time with my daughter.

I'm working much less. I've condensed my working hours into about three to four hours a day, and the rest of my time is spent exploring a new city with my daughter. We've gone on so many beautiful adventures. There are so many things to do with her here. There are playgrounds, parks, and other families to spend time with. There’s delicious food and beautiful cafés.

It's night and day compared to where we came from. So I feel like I'm thriving in that aspect. I'm so grateful for the adventures I can go on with my daughter. Even just going to the grocery store to pick up organic groceries is a delight for me because I didn't have that possibility before.

I'm able to spend a few hours exploring with my daughter having beautiful conversations, singing songs and doing craft together and I am fully aware as I'm living it that these are the Golden Years of her childhood.

I feel incredibly blessed to be spending these moments with her and I'm squeezing every millisecond of joy out of them.

We're also meeting other people in other networks with kids of other ages. This is something that is so important for families and has been my dream for so long and it's finally here.

The quality of food that we’re able to access in this city is mind blowing in comparison to what we had. It's almost on par with what we had in Byron Bay in Australia. We have a lot of local, organic food and a high level of regenerative, sustainablly-oriented foods including meat and raw dairy.

That was a huge part of why we moved here. I’ve cooked almost every meal. I think we've ordered Uber Eats twice since we arrived, whereas we were averaging four to five nights of takeout a week because I had no energy left to cook.

I had no inspiration. I had no place to go to be inspired. The way I like to cook is by walking around the supermarket and finding an ingredient that inspires me and making a meal based on that.

So far, we've had so many beautiful meals. We’ve friends over for dinner and I've cooked for them. We've been over other friends houses, and they've cooked for us.

It's this beautiful reciprocity.

While we're on the topic of food, we’ve also eaten out a lot with entrepreneurial friends, spiritual friends, and parents from the school, and every single restaurant we've been to has had insanely delicious food.

We haven’t had a bad meal yet. And I say that not to jinx myself, but to inspire you with the quality of food that's available here in San Miguel. There's a real focus, not only in the groceries, but in the restaurants too, of connecting with local farms and suppliers that really care about where they get their food from. And that really aligns with my values and is incredibly important for my family.

Inspiration is one of the words that I would say I've experienced a lot since moving. Not only by the food and the people I'm meeting, but also by the city itself. The streets are so beautiful. Our neighbourhood is full of beautiful old trees, there's an incredible park nearby, and I've averaged an insanely more amount of steps each day because I feel like walking. Whereas I used to feel so contracted around that.

We don't have a car. We use Uber or taxis or rides with friends. In many ways, I love that because I feel more elevated and relaxed. If I'm driving around all the time and having to be the driver or my car's dirty, I'm not as relaxed as I am when I'm able to just order an Uber that's four minutes away, hop in the back and somebody drives me where I want to go. I really love that.

At some point, we will likely want to get a car and explore more widely. There are some beautiful cities nearby we could go to, we're in a beautiful place in central Mexico where we now have the ability to do that. It's beautiful to be able to access some of the things we’ve felt starved of in the years we've been here in Mexico.

All in all, I feel like I'm coming back to myself. I'm not contracted. I feel excited at the possibilities that lie in front of me each day. And this is one of the biggest reasons why we decided to make this move.

I've got my mojo back. I'm cooking food at home. I'm sitting on the rooftop watching the sunset and the fireworks, making tea for myself, and lazing on the sofa. These are things that I haven't done for years.

I just feel in flow. Looking back, I feel that in our previous town, we kept getting reamed in many ways. Since we've moved, we have experienced a level of what I can only describe as flow, everywhere we look.

There's been so many “random” occurrences that have all been confirmation this was the right move for us. I'm so grateful we listened to that call.

Yes, it took a long time—three years—to make this move. But we finally did it.

I feel like Brendan and I are masters at this point of leaning into the discomfort that comes with reaching for your dreams.

Throughout the almost 11 years we've been together, we’ve continually pushed ourselves and lent into the discomfort that comes from putting yourself first, asking for more, and recognising you're not on the right path, and perhaps you need to readjust your sails.

I've been doing that since my Saturn Return, when I was about 27, as I shared with you in a recent episode, Rising From The Ashes, which was a reflection of that time where I felt like everything was not right in my life—my relationship, my job, my home, my city—and I had to put it all out on the lawn, say bye bye and welcome in the new.

That period of my life was the first time I started doing that and I've been doing it ever since.

I feel like that's a really good muscle to work; to continually ask yourself, “Am I on the right path?" Am I feeling lit up? Am I feeling inspired? Am I feeling in flow?”

I was regularly not feeling all of those things. And yet I was pushing through. I felt like I had to keep going. And I was doing it to my own detriment.

And yes, I finally listened, took the leap and here we are.

So my guidance for you is, if you're feeling like you're on the wrong path, you're not lit up, you feel chained to work to your own detriment, you feel a lack of connection in your relationships, or you feel like you need more out of life, is to take an audit of your life.

Look at every avenue: your living situation, job, city, relationships, friendships, health, and ask yourself, “Am I on track? Or not?

Ask yourself, what you do want? What would you like more of in your life?

And call that in. Not from an airy fairy, fluffy manifestation perspective where you sit back and do nothing. No. Write down what you want and bring it to life.

You're the leader of your own life. And as someone who has regularly sat back and been a spectator in her own life, I would say don't wait a minute longer, jump in that driver's seat, make the changes you feel are necessary.

Whether that's moving cities, starting a business, quitting your job, or disconnecting from habits or relationships that don't serve you anymore, go for it. Choose more of what you want.

From sunup to sundown, my days are filled with joy and connection, a little bit of work, and a lot of laughter.

And the reason for that is because I was brave enough to say no to a life I didn't want and yes to one that I deserve.

So I'd love to know, are you currently on track? Are you a little bit off kilter? Or are you incredibly off path?

Take this as your sign to do an audit. Ask yourself, “Do I have what I want?”

And if not, be willing to call it in.

Thanks for reading.

As always, please leave me a comment below. I love to hear from you. ✨ 

Aimee

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